For Sandy’s essay:
Overall I thought Sandy did well in her essay to present an interesting, unique, and apt thesis and wrote about it throughout the essay. I was interested with how she ran the argument to the end and concluded. I also think she noticed some interesting and specific things in relation to the use of language within the poem.
I think, as I noted on the first page but then stopped, that her argument could be greatly improved with some work on stylistic phrasing. As the essay moves on, I think there are sentences and phrases that could be cut without affecting the overall meaning of the essay.
1. Find one sentence that could be cut from the essay (or edit a group of sentences to make your point) and explain why it is extraneous or ‘gets in the way’ of the more pertinent argument in the paragraph. By doing so, you will actually be complimenting Sandy on what she did well and why she does not need the sentence you are cutting. No repeats and nothing from the first two paragraphs please!
2. Include any compliments by cutting and pasting from her essay to show what you liked and why.
Sandy Joseph page 45 of Phillips’ A Humument with meta
Make sure you label your comments for when you post in the comment stream by Monday, January 5th by class. You will be graded on the MHS Open Response rubric as a homework grade.