Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Student work on page 249 of A HUMUMENT by Tom Phillips


For Hillary’s essay:

I only included the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs for Hillary’s essay on page 249 of A Humument by Tom Phillips. I thought these two paragraphs were particularly well done in terms of offering analysis for specific moments in the piece.

Objective:
1. Based on what you are reading in her essay (and what you see in the image, write the introduction to this essay for Hillary.)
2. Then explain what you would focus on to end the essay. (You don’t have to write the essay, just informally write what you would focus on to end the essay—a couple more body paragraphs and a conclusion.)

The 2nd and 3rd Paragraphs for Hillary Du's Essay on Page 249 of Phillip's a Humument
Make sure you label your comments for when you post in the comment stream by Monday, January 5th by class. You will be graded on the MHS Open Response rubric as a homework grade.

9 comments:

Stephany J. said...

Part 1

On page 249 of A Humument by Tom Philips, Philips suggests that genuine emotion can only be unveiled if a true sense of self is achieved. Philips chooses to illustrate the body composition of an unknown person with a severed head. Without a head the man is able to write freely to Irma without second guessing himself. Philips does this to allow him to speak directly from the heart. The statements that he continues to formulate create a sense of indifference toward his thoughts. Philips allows the man to continue to write aimlessly because the statements that he has written are authentic.

Part 2

At the end of the essay I would focus on how Philips’ decisions have created meaning. The following paragraphs would assist the ongoing thesis statement stated above in the makeshift introductory paragraph. It is important to keep the actual thesis statement cohesive with the rest of the essay. As a writer it is our job to ask ourselves, “so what?”. I would also include a fresh perspective of how the image might be interpreted without directing stating that “the audience will be able to…”Within the conclusion it would be useful to consider insight that was not introduced previously in the essay. This does not mean that a new idea will be introduced to the audience. The purpose of this is to get the thought process of the audience stimulated after reading the essay.

Kellie said...

Part 1

On page 249 of A Humument by Tom Philips, Philips suggests that in order for man to be complete and whole, he must obtain a feeling of love. Philips’ illustration of a headless man infers that man is empty and incomplete without love. Philips’ diction based around death and sorrow contributes to the idea of an incomplete man, searching for an emotion to rid his sorrows and pain. Because the figure is one color, there is a lack of emotion and humanistic quality embedded in the man. The character is making an effort to obtain love from a character he is romantically involved with, Irma.

Part 2

To end the essay, I would focus more on the effects that were previously stated by Hillary. Hillary already stated her evidence, and an analysis of the artwork. I would pay more attention to why Philips made the decisions he did. After her third paragraph, I would add another paragraph discussing the human condition of man, and emotion. She already has a lot of evidence, but incorporation of that evidence into the theme would make the essay more meaningful and relative to the idea of the picture. I would also end by incorporating exactly how his words of death contribute to the emotion of love that man struggles to find, because it was a huge part of Hillary’s analysis. Overall, I would finish with reference to human emotion because the analysis part is already completed in the second and third paragraphs.

Stephanie A. said...

Part 1

On page 249 of, A Humument, by Tom Philips, Philips suggests that in order to express the right words in any situation, one must search deep within themselves. Regardless of what the situation entails and who it might involve, it can be a challenge to know exactly what to say. With this theme, Philips shows that when looking deep within, emotions and thoughts can be interpreted different depending on how one perceives them. This massage is shown in the picture through the figure, the formation of the words, and the colors used but the headless figure also conveys a sense of indifference.

Part 2

At the end of the essay, I would focus on how all the components of the picture work to convey the meaning of the picture as a whole and what effect that had. For any concluding paragraphs, I would restate my introduction and the ideas I introduced in the beginning such as how thoughts can be perceived different depending on how they’re viewed. Then I would develop the idea with the points Hillary made. I would say for example that it can be hard to express yourself. Also, as Hillary said, I’d want to make a point that with the clever way in which Philips brings different cultural context in the picture, his picture becomes more universal in that he makes his picture “apply to many familiar scenarios in actually everyday life.”

Samantha J said...

Part 1

On page 249 of A Humument by Tom Phillips, Phillips conveys that the only way to complete oneself and reach true satisfaction with life is by stripping away our fears and expressing how one truly feels. Through the composition of a male figure flowing into the poem, created from a single color, he expresses that he is part of all of the words he writes and they must be perfect. His words express the emotion behind the theme and the configuration of them provides multiple interpretations. The man is incomplete and how his words are interpreted creates who he is. In the end, he needs his words to be perfect to convey his emotion for Irma, for that is who he need perfection for.

Part 2

At the end of the essay I would begin by focusing on the other aspects of the composition, other than the headless man. By highlighting the other aspects the theme could be reinforced. Also, the ways the words flow through the composition would also be a good detail to take up in the essay. The meaning behind it would fit well in developing the theme. Though support of the theme is already given, by providing more evidence it could be better enforced. In the conclusion I would go back to focus on my theme. I would be sure to reinforce how Phillip’s creates theme through the composition. I would also convey the emotions that the man is trying to get out to Irma, since she seems to be a large part of the poem. Finally, I would look back at how he brings the composition into everyday life, which is established in the analysis to finish off the paper on a strong note.

oliviak said...

On Page 249 of Tom Phillips' "A Humument", Phillips' displays an extraordinary work of art that requires more than a simple glance. Upon a first look, the observer can see an isolated man. After reading the words, his isolation is better understood because he confesses his incessant feelings for one woman whom he seems to not be able to have. Phillips uses word order and multiple meanings to draw observers in, which helps him to convey a message of true human emotion.

Part 2

For the end of the essay, I would put another paragraph in that talks about the significance of the man's shape being abstract and distorted. It gives the piece more depth, showing that the man isn't whole or complete, he's missing part of his life because he doesn't have the woman that he needs. I'd also note the plain color on the walls because there is little detail in the photo; everything is mostly bare and plain. The only emotion that observers are able to understand at first is in the words.
To conclude, I would sum up the details that really stand out and tie everything together. For instance, explaining how the multiple ways the text can be interpreted relates to the image of the man and the plain wall, or any of the visual aspects in the piece.

Jackie said...

Part 1
On page 249 of Tom Phillips "A Humument" Phillips uses subtle color schemes as well as purposeful spacing and word formation to convey a sense of lonliness as well as the emotions that come with being in love. The lone figure symbolizes the lonliness of the speaker as well as the emotion coming out of the pen that that the blank space creates. The formation of the words alludes to a double meaning when read in different directions, top to bottom and bottom to top.

Part 2
In the rest or end of the essay I would talk about the color scheme and how it adds to the overall meaning and/or theme of the piece. I would talk about how the colors are light though the tone of the poem is sometimes lonely. I would aslo write about the significance of the placement and formation of the words as well as the different meaning the piece takes on when the text is read backwards.

Gbaby said...

part 1
On page 249 of Tom Phillips' A Humument, Phillips suggest that love could bring both happiness and loneliness. Phillips use light color to show his emotion and attitude toward his love "Irma", and also he use little use of word which suggest that he doesn't even know where to start or what to say.

Part 2
at the end of the paragraph, i would talk more about the color that Phillips use on the character and the position the character was in .I feel like it would bring an overall what Phillips was trying to get across about loneliness.

hillary said...

part 1:
On page 249 of a Humument by Tom Philips, Philips suggests that there is a common humanly struggle towards genuine affection. The depiction of an unwhole silhouette generalizes his message towards the whole human race. In doing so Philips is able to demonstrate how the human mind works when dealing with emotions. The complexity of ideas displays confusion and internal pressure which leads to "indifferent," strange and "hasty words." The authenticity of emotions is lost in the quest to perfection.


part 2:
There were some parts that were vague such as the line "Phillips included many opportunities to interpret the diverse wording" in paragraph 2. Actually expanding on what those opportunities are would be nice. The next few paragraphs should include the reason behind Philips' decisions. There was evidence, but no depth of analysis. There was a central theme, but it was obscure so the evidence led to nowhere. There were some good points made such as the connotation to death, but it was set aside and underdeveloped. The conclusion should connect the portrait to some sort of human condition. The main problem was developing theme in which I failed to keep as a main focus.

Sandy. J said...

For Hillary’s essay:

Introduction

1. On page 249 of Tom Phillps’ A Humument”, Phillips suggests that confessing one’s love can be difficult that it even surpasses language. He demonstrates this by omitting body parts of a character to show the lack of courage the person has, and their quest for the right words to express his feelings. The letters depict his unfathomable love for “Irma”, Phillips displays this through word choice and diction such as “indifferent”. Through that he also shows the desperate tone of the portrait, that the character feels to lucidly express his feelings to Irma.


2. To end the essay, I would focus on the effect Phillips’ techniques have on the meaning as a whole. I would also go deeper as to how it relates to the human condition. I would focus more on the colors of the portrait and its connection to the words and structure of the portrait. Connections are crucial to the portrait because it’s like a puzzle that needs all those different pieces to be put together. The conclusion would consist of my repeated thesis, and I would conclude with all the main points connected to my thesis to strengthen it.